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[Fun] Nice Joke. English vesion. , Mackie Messer 27/09/02 14:00
Kawal pochodzi z dzisiejszej Gazety na plaze. Have fun:
"Three prisoners an American, a German, and a Polack,
scheduled to be executed by firing squad.
They bring out the American and stand him in front of the pole. He points and shouts, "Tornado!". They all look and the American runs away. Next, they place the German in front of the firing squad. He yells "Earthquake!". They all hit the dust and the German escapes. Next up is the Polack. He looks around and shouts "Fire!". :DDDDD"Predzej sam siebie zgasze, niz sie wypale"
F. Nietzsche - No to i ja sie przyłączę: , Marcinex 27/09/02 14:08
While I was flying down the road yesterday (only 10 mph over the speed limit) I noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge. The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me, "What's the hurry?" I replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?" I responded, "I'm a rectum stretcher." The cop said, "What's.......a rectum stretcher do?" I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then my whole hand, then I work until I can get both hands in there and I slowly stretch it until it's about 6 foot wide." The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" I simply replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him on top of a bridge....." The ticket......$95.00 The look on his face.....PRICELESS
I drugi:
A young man joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he phoned his father to tell him the news. "So, did you jump?" the father asked. "Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the 'plane, and the Sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the 'plane!" "Is that when you jumped?" asked the father. "Um, not yet. Then the Sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door." "Did you jump then?" asked the father. "I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the 'plane. I told the Sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told be to get off the 'plane or he'd kick my ass." "So, did you jump?" "Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 275 pounds. He said to me, 'Boy, are you going to jump or not?' I said, 'No, Sir. I'm too scared.' So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long! He said, 'Boy, either you jump out of that door, or I'm sticking this up your ass.' " "So, did you jump?" asked the father. "Well, a little, at first."
Pozdroofka
MarcinexNie ma piekła poza tym światem, on nim
jest, nie ma diabła poza człowiekiem,
on nim jest! - swietne ;-)))) , Tummi 27/09/02 23:55
i nie bylo ;-)
T.www.skocz.pl/uptime :D
- Eee, Sydney Pollack...? ;) , Kenny 27/09/02 14:20
123.:Pozdrowienia:. - znowu sie czepiasz ;)) , @kjos 28/09/02 16:07
Kenny odpal sobie webstera........---------------------
Nobody's perfect.
Call me Nobody.
- I hate Polish jokes... , pippi 30/09/02 15:00
Jakoś średnio mnie śmieszą amerykańskie dowcipy o głupich "Polaczkach"... Może i nie jesteśmy narodem Einsteinów, ale kompletnych debili chyba też nie.
And a stupid joke for you, gals and guys:
A guy goes to the pub one Friday and downs his customary 5 pints. On the way home he stops for a curry and picks up a couple of cans. He gets home, unwraps the curry and opens a can. Suddenly there's a knock on the door. He opens up and outside there is a 6 foot cockroach. The cockroach takes one look at him and then head butts him. The guy closes the door
and reels over to the couch clutching his broken nose. He can' believe what's just happened.
Next night he goes out again, and tells his mates what happened. Nobody will believe him, and after 5 pints he leaves, picks up a curry and 2 cans and then goes home. Once he's sat down, there's a knock on the door. He opens up and outside there is the same 6 foot cockroach. The cockroach takes one look at him and then head butts him and then kicks him in the
balls. The guy gets inside again and nurses his aching nose and bits.
Next night he goes out again, and tells his mates what happened this time. Again nobody will believe him, and after 5 pints he leaves, this time he thinks he'd better go easy on the cans so he just picks up a curry and then goes home. No sooner has he started eating his curry when there's a knock on the door. He opens up and outside there is the same 6 foot
cockroach. The cockroach takes one look at him and then head butts him and then kicks him in the balls and punches him in the stomach. The guy gets inside again and nurses his aching nose and belly and bits.
He's now seriously worried, so next day he visits the doctor and tells him the whole story. When he's finished he asks "So doc, tell me straight - have I got a drink problem?"
The doctor replies
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"No - there's just a nasty bug going round"- ...and another one... , pippi 30/09/02 15:03
General Halftrack called down to the motor pool. A sleepy voice answered, "Hullo?". General Halftrack said, "How many vehicles in the motor pool?" The sleepy voice said, "Hold on."
After a few minutes, he came back on and said, "There's 7 Jeeps, 3 one and a half ton trucks, and 2 staff cars for the fat-ass generals."
General Halftrack was upset by this and said, "Do you know who this is?" Sleepy voice said, "No." General Halftrack said, "This is General Halftrack!"
Dead silence for about 5 seconds. Then the sleepy voice asked, "Do you know who this is?" General Halftrack says, "No." Sleepy voice replies, "So, goodbye, Fat-ass!!"
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